Just as ther will never be
A morning without the rising sun
There will never be a day
Without our love for each other...
May 6, 2000
A celebration of love. A celebration of two lives joined first on September 10, 1999. The girl no longer remembers the vows said on that day, the first day. The day they became one, a ceremony planned in haste, and excitement. She remembers the skirt and top she bought at Target alongside the boy as he purchased slacks and a long sleeve button up. The tops were almost the same color. She remembers the bouquet he was holding as she walked up to the clerk recorders office, the nerves flitting through her stomach, the shaky smile on his face. She remembers how silly it felt to stand in front of a complete stranger and be married. Just. Like. That. The dinner afterwards, relaxed and joyful and utterly delicious. The trip north along the coast, the beginning of it all, all of this.
And now, fifteen years later, the same hope and joy and love fills the boy and girl. Each day the sun does rise on their home and on the children and the moments they are living together.
The boy is kept busy each day tending to life in the home, caring for the little ones. Testing his own patience and willingness to spend his precious energy in the often mind numbing pursuit of raising healthy well-adjusted people. Most days he succeeds in convincing himself to give it another go, and then there are the days he would like to just take a hike. The MS has taken a toll in the past year, fatigue is rearing it's ugly head earlier and earlier in the day. Pain dogs him, depletes him and sucks the life right out of him. But still, the boy is determined, he will not let this disease control him, he will be present in this life. And so he also works to find the moments of joy that replenish him, laughter with the little ones, music that fuels him, work on the home and long evening drives that bring a sense of lightness to his tired mind.
The girl is still pursuing a career in nursing, getting closer with each semester. She is worn out from school and work and cooking and cleaning and tending to the littles and worry and sadness. But still, she remembers what it is all for, every morning as she wakes she tests the waters of how she is feeling. Overwhelmed? often. Exhausted? almost daily. Excited? many days. Grateful? Every Single Time. She remembers each day how lucky she is, even on the worst days, to have what she does.
The little boy is really no longer little. He's in the last year of elementary school. He loves being with friends, running wild, wrestling, laughing, playing as hard as they can. The little boy is also often frustrated by the little girl AND the girl and boy. He feels too much of anger and annoyance. But still, he is sweet and wants cuddle, wants love and connection. His life is changing rapidly, and most of this change is happening right inside his own mind and body, it is such a joy to watch him unfold.
The little girl is growing tall and full with her own inteligence. She knows absolutely EVERY thing, She's abolutely sure the boy and girl know very little. Now in first grade the little girl is fully embracing the world of school, she loves learning and filling in all the spaces in assigned workbooks, she can't wait each day to work beside the little boy laughing and bright eyes smiling up at him. She still experiences moments of uncontrollable rage, moments when she feels so much injustice surrounding her she can not help but scream out. But still, she is growing quicker to taking deep breaths and speak her feelings, connecting to herself and communicating more clearly. And in these moments she's expanding beautifully.
Life seems to be speeding ahead, leaving little time for breath or reflection. This family feels itself spinning through the space we occupy, grabbing for each other, holding tight some days, releasing each other to dance and fly on others. But still, after it all, together.
Happy Fifteenth Anniversary
to the boy, lovingly, from the girl